I Want to Give Mother Nature the Middle Finger

Warning: There is nothing positive or motivational about this post.

I’ve been getting caught up on blog reading today and found a theme in my comments to everyone: I was whiny as shit. It’s not even the whole back to work thing that’s pissing me off – work is okay. The kids are okay. But HELLO, I’m supposed to be running 70 miles this week. I have three more weeks until I can start tapering. I need these weeks to COUNT. I have to be at work by 7am – meaning running before work is limited. I live on a somewhat hilly, busy road so it’s a little dangerous when I’m trying to run more than 5-6 miles in the dark. And so I run after work. I don’t like the treadmill – but my paces are seriously suffering this week. I’m over it. I just need a minute to whine.

Every damn day this week. 90+ degrees.

imageBlazing, hot sun – no relief. I mean, I’d probably start singing if a few clouds would roll in.

imageAnd the humidity. Uhhh, isn’t the scorching temperature enough? Oh, and try to work out in the morning – the humidity is worse. Yesterday, I had a double. 5 miles in the morning, 5 after work. I still can’t decide which was worse. The air that was so heavy and thick that you could practically drink it, or the blazing heat in the afternoon? I’m still not entirely sure.

image

Seriously. The way it’s looking is that we will get some cooler temps for the weekend – you know, just in time for me to run in the morning anyway – and then guess what. It’s going to get hot AGAIN next week! I’m so excited!!!

image

I don’t know how much more I can actually take. I realize I sound like an asshole because I had the luxury of running early all summer long. I know how I sound. It doesn’t make 3:30 pm every single day this week any easier, though.Β There’s also the added issue that I’m pretty sure I’m going to shit my pants on one of my runs this week. It’s going to happen. I swear when it’s this hot out, my stomach hates me even more than it usually does.

image

And then, when I think about going on the treadmill, I read some positive “motivational” bullshit like this and throw up in my mouth a little:

image

Mother Nature, fuck you.

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56 thoughts on “I Want to Give Mother Nature the Middle Finger

  1. charissarunning September 3, 2015 / 2:28 pm

    Hahahaha, omg these quotes have me DYING over here!!! This is how I feel about summer to a ‘T’. At the very beginning I tried to deal with it. But I’ve been over it for awhile now. And I could care less what ‘my competition’ is doing – I’m hitting that treadmill and avoiding as much of the heat/humidity as I can. Honestly, you’ve been so on top of your training if you feel like skipping the heat for the treadmill one day, it can only help (because too much heat can definitely contribute to the fatigue factor). I hope we get some relief soon though because this summer has really been so hot and looooooong. Didn’t it start by like the end of May?! It’s been hot for 3+ months!!! Ugh…

    • allisonfiorini September 3, 2015 / 2:30 pm

      Your comment made me feel so much better about the fatigue factor. I really might go on the treadmill today. I just can’t take another day out there!

      • charissarunning September 3, 2015 / 2:32 pm

        For real, you’ve been working so hard out there in the sun. You totally deserve a break and I think you’ll feel more fresh after it (even if you do hate the treadmill!).

  2. Hanna @ TheMillennialNextDoor September 3, 2015 / 2:34 pm

    That last meme made me throw up in my mouth, too. How about “When you were being a normal person whose life doesn’t revolve around running, your competition was out there overtraining. WHICH RUNNER WILL YOU BE!!” I do get the point they’re trying to make, but, the last thing we need is to get people more insecure and competitive with their peers. Unless you’re doing this for a living, seriously, have a seat. Ugh.

    Sorry, that was a tanget. Back on topic: I totally feel you about the heat. It actually makes me kind of mad, which is irrational but oh well. It’s September. I know it’s still technically summer, but come on. 90 degrees is just unnecessary. Our forecast actually looks a little cooler for next week, thank goodness, but I truly hope yours is wrong and that it doesn’t get hot again! Hang in there. You’ve worked SO HARD this summer – that is never just “lost”.

    • allisonfiorini September 3, 2015 / 3:01 pm

      Definitely no apologies for the tangent, I was thinking the exact same thing. I was able to let my life revolve around training this summer since I didn’t have to worry about going to a job like most normal people but now that I’m back in action, all bets are off. I am back to being a normal runner and life definitely doesn’t revolve around running right now. This normal runner is hitting the treadmill today. I think. I’m going to get myself an iced coffee and try to caffeinate the cranky away.

  3. Mom, Miles, and Mishaps September 3, 2015 / 2:41 pm

    Yeah girl!!! I loved EVERY single one of those!! It is OK to be whiny because we all need to get that out…refocus…get our shit together…and GO!!
    You’ve got this….with Satan’s weather and all!!!

    • allisonfiorini September 3, 2015 / 3:02 pm

      Thanks! Satan’s weather might mean I am doing my run on Satan’s sidewalk indoors but one way or another I will get it done!

  4. Shauna @ Happily TwentySomething September 3, 2015 / 3:29 pm

    Omg I am cryinggg! These pictures are hilariously accurate. And whine til your little heart’s content, everyone is allowed to at some point or another!

    • allisonfiorini September 3, 2015 / 3:35 pm

      Thanks lady!!!! I needed a good whine. I think I’m resorting to the treadmill. I just can’t do it today. LOL!

  5. reb2684 September 3, 2015 / 4:30 pm

    I went through the exact same emotions today…and ended up with 5 miles on the treadmill in my basement, which still somehow felt like an inferno. sweaty, sweaty, hellish miles, but less humidity and heat than outside today. gross. good luck!

    • allisonfiorini September 3, 2015 / 6:50 pm

      Omg yup, I resorted to the treadmill and somehow I think it was almost as bad, just less humidity!!! We got it DONE though! πŸ’ͺ🏿

  6. Rebecca Royy September 3, 2015 / 5:32 pm

    Where are you? I may be crazy, but it hasn’t felt as awful to me these past 2 weeks. Still so humid, but it has been in the 70s in Atlanta before sunrise both weeks! I’m dreading the freezing pre dawn winter runs! For some reason its been the only thing I’ve been thinking about while running

    • allisonfiorini September 3, 2015 / 6:52 pm

      Ha! I’m jealous that you are comfortable! I’m in PA. I’m used to running in heat and humidity but I’m in the middle of a high mileage week. Every run is double digits or speed work! I know, I did it to myself…but I want a solid fall marathon season! Bring on the freezing temps and winter runs!!!

  7. skinnyrunning September 3, 2015 / 5:32 pm

    Hahahaha… I had to read this to my husband and show him the pictures. This had us both cracking up. Mother nature is being a royal pain in the ass these days. I’ve been doing my fair share of complaining, too. And, seriously, I think it’s about time you had a real rest day, not one of your “I did yoga, then swam an hour, went to a pole class, and ran 10 miles” rest days that you usually do. Take a rest girl! You deserve it.

    • allisonfiorini September 3, 2015 / 6:55 pm

      Tomorrow. I swear I’m resting tomorrow! I used the treadmill. My car showed 99 when I left work so that decided it for me. I might lift weights if I can get my ass out of bed tomorrow but no cardio. I swear when my marathons are over I have a whole recovery season planned. It’s going to be most of November and December!!! I’m still nowhere near this, but my goal is to run a sub 3 hour marathon. I came close in June 2014. I had some injuries last year and couldn’t get a solid base under my belt so I swear there’s a method to my madness!!

  8. sarahdudek80 September 3, 2015 / 7:01 pm

    I needed to read this today. It has been 90+ every day this week and this was my first real return to running week. Today I did 5 and really wanted to go for 6. My body said yes but the weather said no. My endurance is down anyway but add in the horrible temps and it was just so frustrating. I had to stop twice near the end to collect myself. You have my 110% sympathy.

    • allisonfiorini September 3, 2015 / 7:07 pm

      Awwww not you too!!! I am so sorry to hear the weather is sucking for you, too. However, can we talk about how awesome it is that you’re already doing 5-6 miles at a clip?!?! Your baby is barely a month now, right??? You are my freaking idol.

      • sarahdudek80 September 3, 2015 / 7:11 pm

        Thanks :). 4 weeks today!

  9. Sam September 3, 2015 / 10:22 pm

    I secretly have been thankful that I am not training for anything seriously this summer, it has been so unbearably hot just existing, let alone running. I feel you girl, good job getting the miles in anyway!

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:23 am

      So hot! It looks like our heat wave continues through Wednesday…just two more days!!!

  10. Fallon @ Slacker Runner September 4, 2015 / 2:41 am

    Oh, I love this post. Sorry that you have been having such a rough week but the post is awesome. One of the reasons I can never run in the mornings is that I have to leave for work so early. Getting up at 4am to run by myself in the creepy dark on back roads is not my thing. I noticed my stomach had similar problems with heat this summer. That was new. I mean stomach is always stupid but it was worse on every run that was over 90. Grrrr. We need more hours in the day, cooler hours that is.

    • allisonfiorini September 4, 2015 / 5:27 am

      If my road wasn’t so unpleasant to run on, I could get on board with running long miles before work. It’s a main road, rolling hills, and when you hit about 3 miles you get to an entrance/exit ramp for a really big highway that’s really scary to run near! I never enjoy running on it. I’m not getting paid to do this, so if it isn’t fun most of the time then I’m not doing it! LOL. Although 95 degrees isn’t fun…and the treadmill isn’t fun…what are we doing to ourselves?! HA!

  11. Coach Sara September 4, 2015 / 5:37 am

    These quotes are hilarious! I’m hating the heat this week too. I have a newborn & it’s too hot to take her outside for long walks.

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:24 am

      Aw, yes way too hot to take a baby outside for walks! I hope it cools down where you are soon too!

  12. Hollie September 4, 2015 / 7:14 am

    So true to all of these. The problem is the weather goes from extreme hot to cold in a matter of days…oomph.

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:25 am

      You are so right! I remember in the spring it was super cold, and then it was 90 degrees or something weird. The weather here is nuts!

  13. Anna @ Piper's Run September 4, 2015 / 7:24 am

    At least you can laugh about it (slightly). Heat and humidity running is simply the pits…that’s how I felt a few weeks ago here. Running super early in the morning is hard as is running at the end of the day – we can never win! Hoping you get some miles in and feel better about your pace.

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:25 am

      Thanks! Looks like I just have to survive a few more days of it!

  14. Shawna September 4, 2015 / 8:40 am

    so i’m just going to blame my horribly sore and uncooperative legs and inability to run more than 13 miles at all this summer (aka my marathon is nahhhht happening) on the weather. thanks! πŸ™‚

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:26 am

      The weather has DEFINITELY made marathon training ROUGH! Especially if you are an afternoon runner!

  15. DarlinRae September 4, 2015 / 9:05 am

    LOLOLOL! Meme game is strong. Seriously, though, you’re allowed to feel everything that you’re feeling. Sometimes you just need to let it all out so you can move on.

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:26 am

      Thanks! I was so cranky last week that I had to do something! Ha!

  16. suzysuzyheather September 4, 2015 / 10:18 am

    How did I miss this?! Those quotes are SO FUNNY. I’m sorry. I heard that hot weather training is similar to training at elevation, so it’s really good for your fitness. You prob won’t hit your paces but just pretend you’re running them at the top of a mountain or something. I dunno. It sucks.

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:28 am

      I hope you are right about the heat training being similar to elevation training…I’ll let you know over the next few weeks πŸ™‚

  17. Susan - Nurse on the Run September 4, 2015 / 2:30 pm

    Definitelyyyyyyyy over this heat! I love summer, but I could go for some 7-80 degree days, none of this 90’s business.

  18. niki September 4, 2015 / 6:06 pm

    haHAAA! sorry… not really laughing… poor you! I’ve also had a crap week. And I also started back at work. Do you think the two are connected? πŸ˜‰

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:31 am

      I am CERTAIN that’s why! I hope your school year started off okay! Mine is hectic – hopefully, I’ll give it a few weeks and it will calm down a little!

  19. Nora @ 2 Generations Running September 4, 2015 / 6:59 pm

    Bahahaha, sometimes you just need to vent! I felt the same way most of this summer, especially since every single Tuesday night seemed to be in the 90s and humid for my weekly 5k, even if the temps were more “normal” later in the week. You just can’t win sometimes. Just keep telling yourself Fall is almost here, you’ll make it through πŸ™‚

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:32 am

      I know, I sound like a brat – I had all summer to run in the morning and start whining after a few days of hot weather and afternoon runs! I have no idea how you did it for all of those 5ks – you are seriously BADASS!

  20. Brittany September 4, 2015 / 8:08 pm

    OMG is it bad to admit this post had me dying with laughter? Not because of your misfortune, but the way you wrote it. I HATE RUNNING IN HEAT, I would rather share my cookies. That’s actually a lie…I don’t share cookies. Here’s to hoping you make it out of the den of Hades alive.

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:33 am

      LOL – nooo, laugh away! I’m like you though – I don’t share cookies and I HATE RUNNING IN HEAT! I will take our crazy winter weather we had here last year any day over 90s and humidity! Two more days in the den of Hades!

  21. Judith / soveryslightlymad September 6, 2015 / 8:08 am

    Not a fan of that last “motivational” poster. That’s the kind of mindset that gets people sick or injured.

    I’m with you — I’m sick of the heat and humidity.

    • allisonfiorini September 6, 2015 / 8:11 am

      No, I hate that last poster! That’s why I said that it made me throw up in my mouth a little bit πŸ™‚ I am ready for fall weather!

  22. cupcakesandmiles September 7, 2015 / 9:55 am

    Oh trust me girl, you’re not the only one! The heat this year sucks!!!

    Some idiot on the radio the other day was talking about how he read an article that said July was the hottest month in Earth’s history (as far back as temps have been documented). He then went on to say that he wished it would always be like this because he loves the hot weather!!!

    That prick is so lucky there was a radio in between us because I would have beat his (clearly) lazy ass for making a comment like that. πŸ˜‰

    We’ll get through this together. Fall will be here before we know it.

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:39 am

      I can’t wait! I wish I could find the guy on the radio and punch him! OMG! He has no idea what this heat does to us runners!

  23. TechChick September 7, 2015 / 10:06 am

    Yep, this humid weather does suck! I had to share your post with my husband. He got a good laugh out of it! He’s gone out for some hard runs lately and ended up feeling sick for the next day because he worked out too hard and was dehydrated. Yuck!

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 5:40 am

      LOL! Well, tell your poor husband that I feel his pain! My one run two weeks ago was terrible in the way you described – I was sick for hours after from dehydration. It’s terrible!

  24. Kelly September 8, 2015 / 2:08 pm

    Ha! This was hilarious. I so appreciate the reminder that we don’t have to be so darn chipper all the time. Sometimes – Things just SUCK. Hopefully the heat and humidity chill out (Ha, I totally didn’t plan that) over there. I just fell over while standing up from my desk, so there’s that.

    • allisonfiorini September 8, 2015 / 2:13 pm

      Hahahah! I hope you’re okay! I also hope the heat and humidity “chill out” – I laughed out loud with that one!!! Have a great day!

  25. Kalley September 16, 2015 / 10:12 am

    I just discovered your blog and this post made me spit out my coffee laughing. I 100% could not agree with you more. I HATE running in the heat and humidity and also can’t decide which is worse. We had a serious hot snap here in MN toward the end of summer (and it is ALWAYS humid) so I feel ya. Those Someecards are perfect. Thanks for making me laugh.

    • allisonfiorini September 16, 2015 / 10:29 am

      Thank you for reading! OMG when I wrote that post I was SO ANGRY at the weather! This week is a little better but I hear next week will be hot again. It’s SEPTEMBER! Lol!

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